-Spent a rather rough night aboard our vessel of wrath. The seats reclined a comfortable 2 degrees aft and I am firmly convinced that they were manufactured in a combination of crushed glass and concrete by some sort of sociopath. James summed it up best with his brief statement: "Well, I think we have all learned something here..." Indeed we have, my friends. The rear of the plane is best left to articles such as luggage and livestock.
-Made our way through "passport control" (where they declined to either speak or stamp our passports) and "customs" (which was a doorway otherwise marked "exit") and took a rather long and involved trek to our Hilton Hotel (which Dan unsuccessfully argued could not possibly be down the route marked with a big letter "H" and a picture of a bed.)
-Checked in, showered, and attempted to nap, all relatively uneventfully, other than Chris nearly falling over his bed and through the window. I believe he fell out of his bed in Scotland as well, so perhaps we should discuss this with his pediatrician...
-Took the 12 O'clock shuttle downtown (this time it was Ton who didn't want to believe the clearly marked directional signs leading to the bus, but we managed to get there in the end.)
-Walked to the Coliseum to take photos, but unfortunately didn't have time to wait out the immense line to see the inside. Was highly amused by the men in plastic gladiator garb offering photo opportunities, especially the one who topped off his attire with high-tops and a baseball cap. Hollywood should take note for Gladiator II: Kickin' It Old School.
-Took a cab to the Vatican; had to separate as no vehicles were available to carry five passengers. James, Chris, and I drew a driver who was not perhaps the most talkative gentleman, but he drove like a bat out of hell and we had a blast. It was like an ancient Roman version of Disney's Thunder Mountain, and I think he appreciated all the yelling and clapping of his backseat passengers. Unsure of which historic sites went rushing past the windows, or even if any pedestrians were killed during the flight, but it was fun nonetheless.
-Arrived, somehow, at the Vatican, and upon perusal of the three-mile line wrapped around the complex, decided to pay our visit to the holy sites on the morrow. Dan plotting our future on his Blackberry through emails and calls to London (???). I'd have thought his Mafia contacts would be a bit nearer to hand...
-Stopped for rest and lunch at a small cafe near Vatican City where they hustled us inside and rapidly wedged two tiny tables into a corner to accommodate our number.
After a brief perusal of the selected offerings, Ton tried to order artichokes and Chris requested pizza, both of which were quickly rejected by the attending proprietress for reasons which were never really made clear. Somehow we all ended up with bruschetta (which was, admittedly, excellent) along with the following line-up:
Ton: Gnocchi with a side of meatballs, and a side of mushrooms
Lisa: Fettuccini alfredo (despite the heat and her lack of appetite)
James: Fettuccini alfredo
Chris: Gnocchi, (which he had never heard of) also with a side of meatballs and mushrooms
Dan: Pasta with clams
Upon arrival, the food was quite good, though I ate very little due to a combination of sore throat and too much sun. (I was therefore compelled to request a useless to-go box, in order to bypass the inevitable chef-coming-to-the-table-to-indignantly-request-reasons-for-not-finishing-his-food incident. I really hate those confrontations...) My leftovers went into a refuse bin in the next street, and Dan almost did the same when he saw the bill for lunch, which came to a grand total of €165, or approximately $300.00. These little old Italian women could teach American used car salesmen a thing or two. Glad we didn't go with the vino...
-Forgot to mention that I entered my own personal hell in the Vatican gift shop. If Jesus ever does come back, I can't imagine he'll enjoy it much either. They aren't exactly invoking his happiest days...
-Approximately 3 pm, and heavy debating occurs regarding whether we spend €40 on a cab to the hotel or wait 2 hours for the free shuttle. Thanks to Daniel, we wait. In 95 degree heat. With no shade. Anywhere. Ton and I tried to amuse ourselves by counting women in unflattering tube tops, while Chris moaned about the fact that he hadn't slept in approximately 4 hours. Dan made a foray down the street to get a drink, and much speculation occurred on whether or not he was sneaking a forbidden Coke. I still maintain that he was and that he'll do it again if not strictly monitored.
When the bus finally lumbered into port, (and sat with the air conditioning conveniently turned off,) Chris promptly boarded and fell asleep, whereupon I felt it my duty to kick him awake so that he could suffer with the rest of us. Following this, he decided on a tactical maneuver that involved falling into the aisle while attempting to change seats. In a sense, it was highly successful, as I was too disabled by laughter to mount another attack, but there were severe casualties in the regions of his shins. During this exchange, James was nearly disemboweled by a child with a parasol who somehow ended up in his lap... Rome is a friendly place.
-Back at the hotel (three hours later, and much sweatier than was strictly necessary) we wearily plodded to our rooms for refreshing showers, only to find that the keys for our entire hallway had been deactivated. I collapse into a lobby chair while James returns to the front desk to rectify the situation, and Chris heads to the public restroom to "take care of business."
-Finally get into room, showered, etc. Try to print Express Passes for ship, and, of course, the website shows no record of our reservation. Did we really expect anything else? I guess we'll just show up tomorrow and hope for the best.
-7:45 pm, and Chris is already asleep, the little weenie. Please recall that he is the only member of our little group who slept on the plane during the flight over... and took a nap when he got here... and fell asleep on the bus. Before he succumbed, however, he was forced to unplug the lamp next to his bed, as he was unable to divine the mechanism for turning it off. I believe it is called a "switch" and is located near the bulb. Really can't wait to see how he manages with his own house...
**Side notes from today:
On the bus:
"The coliseum is just around the corner."- Dan; stated at approximately every other intersection during the 45 minute ride into Rome.
As we exit the bus:
Chris: "So I guess we're near the Vatican."
Lisa: "Why?"
Chris: "Well, just from what I've seen on TV and things..."
This being said with no specific point of reference in mind, and nowhere near the Vatican.
At the Coliseum:
I am forced, regardless of the public nature of the venue, to extract a small winged insect from the inside of my nasal passage. Italian bugs have no sense of propriety or personal space. It must be a European thing.
Coliseum
$300 Lunch
No comments:
Post a Comment